Finding Happy - Letting Go Of Grief

Hi there! Monique Bradley here with this weeks VLOG: Letting Go Of Grief.

This weeks topic is: 'Release. Have a good cry. Grief is a doorway to your deepest self.'

Many of the people I work alongside, coach or train are held back by an old self belief or some form of grief at the loss of a loved one, a decision that resulted in less than favourable consequences or a lost opportunity. I know from my own experience of losing my father when I was 18 that grief affects us in a variety of different ways. For me at the time my coping mechanism was comedy. I didn't know how to process people's messages of sympathy so would often reply with a comedic response to lighten their own depth of despair or to lighten mine.

Grief is the emotional process we go through when we lose a loved one or have a challenging life experience that leads to that feeling of loss. Though people who are grieving do not necessarily move precisely through set stages of grief and sometimes are not even aware that they are going through grief, grieving does have some common characteristics.

First comes a sense of numbness or unreality that can last from several hours to several days. The numbness is then replaced with a profound sense of loss. To grieve is to feel that loss and come to terms with it and this as the card says can be a doorway to your deepest self as you start to explore your values and take stock of what is most important to you. If you're currently going through the feeling of grief, loss or are questioning your self worth or value, Here are some suggestions that worked for me.

Allow yourself to feel all that you are feeling, and express those feelings. It's ok to talk about it! Access your support system. Your family and friends want to be helpful. If you aren’t comfortable sharing with friends or family, a support group, faith community leader, coach or counselor may help you through this.

Take care of yourself. Eat balanced meals, get enough sleep and do some form of physical activity every day. Activity releases the feel good endorphins that help with our ability to cope better and feel better.

Seek help if you seem "stuck" in the grieving process. There is no timetable for grief recovery. But if significant physical symptoms of depression persist over the course of months, it may be time to talk to a counsellor, coach or your healthcare provider.

Don't judge your grief by any standards but your own. The path of grief is different for each individual and every set of circumstances as we all process things in our own way.

It's ok to cry: it doesn't matter if you're male or female. Crying is another form of release and a part of the process.

Activate a joy trigger: find something every day that you can either do for yourself or that you are aware of that makes you smile.

Practice gratitude and see how the power of your focus can help release that person, that challenging experience or that missed opportunity.

I'm a firm believer that if your hands are full carrying old stories how can you pick up the pen to write a new one? Release those old experiences with love, know that when one door closes another door opens and as Nemo said 'just keep swimming'.

I highly recommend that if you are looking for ways to help yourself move forward, check out my video and information on goal setting as having a forward focus can really help you get moving and amp up the happiness levels in your life. I know it works. I've done it myself.

Have an amazing week.

Monique X

Finding Happy - Being Kind To Yourself

Goal Setting And Its Effects on Happiness