This weeks 'Finding Happy' vlog is all about tenderness and BEING KIND TO YOURSELF!

Why is it we seem to let others off the hook or have lower expectations of people around us?

Why is it we use kinder words on others than we often do to ourselves?

This video discusses that very topic and looks at WHY we should be kinder on ourselves, the effects of self kindness and a few quick tips to help you do so.

Also, check out the accompanying free PDF download with a few ideas on how to be kinder to YOU!

Download the PDF on 'BEING KIND TO YOURSELF' here:

Video Transcript:

Hi there!

I’m Monique and welcome to Finding Happy. I have a pack of self care cards and each week, I choose one card as a topic of discussion to help you add more happiness into your life. 

Todays topic is Tenderness:

It says: speak gently to yourself.

Cherish the child within.

I find this a really interesting topic because most people I work with, train or talk to are often kinder on other people than they are to themselves! I know Ive spent many years giving others a break and yet being the hardest task master on myself - only to reap the negative benefits of that horrid self talk. You may know exactly what I’m talking about!

Why is it that being kinder to ourselves seems to be the one thing that’s often neglected or something we may even feel guilty about doing? Well it’s time to change that story my friends!

Being kind to yourself in everyday life is one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

You’ll start to notice that life will become lighter and your relationships will most likely improve. 

You will feel happier overall. 

And your self-esteem and your inner sense of self worth and personal empowerment will flourish!

To make positive changes in your life, try one new habit and notice the difference. One habit at a time is the easiest to implement and if you did one a week, that would be 52 new kindness towards yourself behaviours by the end of the year! 

So you could try some of these suggestions:

1. Have some ME time. Lot’s of people talk about this, but actually doing it is something that has changed my life! Spend 30-60 minutes in the morning or evening with reading, listening to or watching material that uplifts you. My favourite is to pop on a pair of headphones and listen to a meditation. By the end of it I feel like I’ve slept for a week!

2. Conquer the inner monsters: When those inner critics start challenging your value, ask yourself: Is this my story or someone else’s opinion? I then check if that story or voice serves me and if it doesn’t, I focus my attention elsewhere and start writing a better story. 

3. Find happiness in simplicity: The smallest things or something that others take for granted can become something spectacular! I love observing children who are amazed by something as simple as a rainbow. I now often pause for a moment to take in and appreciate that simplicity. This approach to the day makes life lighter, more joyful and it becomes easier to keep the motivation up.

4. Unwind tonight: Take a long bath and read something to escape. Or go for a walk. Or talk to someone about something that is on your mind and let it all out. Set aside 30 minutes or more and be kind to your body and mind by letting the tensions and stress out.

5. Having a challenging day? Take one conscious step to notice something positive. Again, it can be as simple as a rainbow or enjoying a really good coffee. If your day feels mediocre or just sort of depressing then take one small step towards something positive to breathe a bit of optimism into your day and week.

6. If you stumble, be your own best friend: Don’t beat yourself up, that will erode your self-esteem. Be a kind and supportive friend to yourself instead.

Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? And then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

7. Take a laugh-break. Take 20-30 minutes a day purely to read, watch or listen to something funny. I do this every day and not only does it lift my spirits it makes me more productive!

8. Break the loop!

Sometimes people fall into the habit of getting stuck in thought loops that just go round and round about what you could have done or what went wrong. Its like playing Chinese whispers with yourself. So when you’re in that cycle, you can CHOOSE a new thought to focus on! Try it!

9. Remember the WHY: By reminding yourself of the benefits of being kind to yourself, such as better real life results, more perseverance, higher self-esteem, more inner happiness and stillness, more positive relationships with yourself and other people it becomes easier to stay kind to yourself through life’s challenges.

I have a list that you can download of great tips to be kinder to you. Remember, the best results come from 1 habit at a time, so take your pick, give yourself a break and watch your happiness accelerate!

I’ll see you again real soon!